Benefits

One of the many, oft-unsung benefits of being unemployed is that you can be totally prepared for rain delays at the U.S. Open.

Case in point: Right now. The U.S. Open Final was supposed to take place yesterday, on a weekend, to accommodate those who, due to some random cultural significance, have free time. But as it was raining in Flushing Meadows, and as tennis is a "wuss sport" (i.e. cannot be played in rain), the Final was forcibly delayed. Until today.

Today, tons of poor saps have to miss out on the glorious final between Rafael "rockin' them capris" Nadal and Novak "Joke" Djokovic simply because they are gainfully employed.

Nevermind the inability to go out with friends due to your dwindling bank account balance; this is where you strike back. This is your coup.

Just think of the anguish you'll be able to cause when one of your friends calls up later today and is like, "Yo Bromo Sapien. Just got off work, tryna hit a bar?"

And you can be all like, "Sorry dawg. I'm totes beat from watching the epic U.S. Open Final! Did you see it? Oh right.... You didn't." Burnt. Man they'll feel dumb.  (It should be noted that it is absolutely integral that you hang up the phone before they get a chance to ask, "Oh. Is that like a golf thing?")

So to all ye woefully underemployed denizens: Fear not! Just bask in the glory of being able to have extended conversations about the t-shirt Djokovic's dad was wearing. Which, for the record, is something like one of those wolf t-shirts that philistines wear in a gruesome failure of an attempt at irony, only with Novak Djokovic instead of a wolf.

There might also be an eagle on there. I'm not sure.

 Luckily I have all day to try to find out.