The Answer?

Apparently, ol' Allen Iverson may be on his way to China, seeing as no NBA teams want anything to do with him. For some reason.

The all-knowing ESPN has the story, of which my favorite part is when Gary Moore, Iverson's personal manager says, "What has Allen Iverson done to not warrant interest in him?"

Gary, I am so glad you asked!

Maybe it was the time he demanded to start in Detroit, despite sucking? Or was it when he demanded to start in Memphis, despite sucking, then quit after three games of sucking? Or perhaps it was tearful, nostalgia-laden return to Philadelphia, where he proceeded to suck.

Most likely, though, is that it was the time being one of the best players in the league got to his head, and led him to think he still had any sort of clout, despite being a good eight years past his prime.

Basically, Mr. Moore, what you've apparently missed while personally managing The Answer, is that the dude is a pale reflection of a shadow of his former self. If you could somehow access a magical Time Mirror that allowed you to see a reflection of Allen Iverson's shadow from 2001, you would have a pretty good idea of where A.I. is at.

He hasn't been good enough to start on an NBA team in four years, yet is utterly possessed by crippling egomania that forces him to demand starter's minutes anywhere he goes, and thus pout his way off the team when he doesn't receive them.

Allen Iverson is, has been, and always will be, a complete headcase. He was once tremendously talented, (the fact that a six foot guard could singlehandedly lead a bootleg Sixers team to the finals is all you need to know about his abilities) and I will be forever thankful to him for preventing the L*kers from being the only team to sweep the playoffs.

But that time is passed. To call him washed up would be to pay him an incredible compliment. I'm sure he could thrive in China, just as fellow headcase Stephon Marbury has, but I would even warn Chinese teams against him. You don't need that noise, China.

Sidenote: It's not really fair to compare AI to Starbury when it comes to being a headcase. AI might be arrogant, but Starbury is on another level. He's on another planet.

I also love that in the Starbury highlight video linked to above, someone mispelled "China" in the related videos.

And now, just because I can:



That just makes me so happy.


UPDATE: A.I. lands in Turkey! Huzzahs all around.