Dear Mr. Roy,
Regarding your choice of rap video cameos and unfortunately awkward facial expressions made therein:
What the hell?
I mean, is this a serious thing? Is this actually happening? Or is this some torrid alternate reality in which professional athletes make terrible, highly public decisions?
Actually, disregard that last part. That was a pretty dumb question.
Needless to say, the more puritanical elements of our society will doubtlessly find fault with your involvement in a rap video which contains the preparation and use of marijuana. However, I find very little fault with this, as athletes listening to and supporting drug-themed rap is not exactly anything new.
Let us not forget that LeBron James appeared in Jay-Z's Death of Autotune video, and that Jay-Z himself has been more than open about his profiteering from the sale of illicit drugs (from which he claims to have derived his business knowledge that allowed him to find success in more legal ventures). He details these facts in pretty much every song he has ever recorded.
That said, I think we can both agree that Cali and Cavalli are basically on the same level as Jay-Z. Not much disparity there. Nope. OH WAIT.
And this is the source of my qualm. Why must you openly damage your own credibility, along with that of your home and adopted cities, by associating yourself (and by proxy the cities which you represent) with such mediocrity?
Assuming you were simply helping out some homies by adding some NBA All Star mojo to their video, why must you make such a profoundly lame cameo? After that wondrous display of mean-mugging, I genuinely feel like I could beat you up. I'm not even kidding. It's time to throw down.
Seriously. How did you make it to be a professional athlete when you're only mean-mugging at a seventh grade level?
Luckily, the City of Portland is so jaded to Blazer-related embarrassments that this barely makes it onto Bonzi Wells Scale of Publicized Tomfoolery. This is only like, two or three Bonzis. However, that fact is still not enough to overcome what may be the biggest knock against you since that one time you... did that one thing.
I guess appearing on the cover of NBA 10 The Inside was pretty weak.
Sincerely,
Anonymous blogger
And lest anyone forget:
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